Creative Coding
An ode to the creative process and the intrusive thoughts that come with it
Under the shadow of a building that was the site of many a stolen book, a baby ferret ran along the white flower adorned cement walls of the courtyard. The ferret ran this way and that, stopping every so often to stand on its hind legs and perhaps peer over the wall to see where he might get out.
She watched the ferret, feeling so deeply for this little entrapped creature for it could not see the way out. She imagined its panic and couldn't help thinking of her sweet pup, her heart outside her chest, waiting for her at home. She wanted to save the ferret. as did her companions. But trusting it would eventually find its way out, their attention is brought back to the task at hand.
session called to order over matcha, coffee
tangerines and the laughter of old and budding friendships
creatives in arms prepare for play
she opens her laptop ignoring the way her heart starts thundering out of her chest
*it’s just for fun*
<pshhh sure. There’s a reason you don’t follow through on anything. You’re gonna make a fool of yourself>
"prompt one: today I am thinking of being… five minutes"
Everyone takes off writing.
(.....)
*everything ok?*
(fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Idk-wtf to say)
<shut your laptop. just quit now. these people are smarter than you anyway>
*that's not true. You’re all wonderfully smart in your own way*
<not this we’re all one bullshit>
*just write something anything*
(what is she writing?)
*eyes on your own paper, love. This isn’t eleventh grade Econ*
(but my mind is blank!)
*what about that book you were reading*
<seriously? that's stupid. nobody cares-->
(about the gamers?)
*yes!*
(uhhh ok...)
A GAMER
<ha! Dumb dumb dumb. nobody's going to get that>
*Keep going.*
(but)
*Go*
(Why is my mind blank!)
*it's not. Go*
<No>
INSIDE OF A GAME
<what the->
THE BIRD IN THE BOOK I WAS READING
<doesn’t that bird get killed?>
*shh!*
(it's from the book I was reading, I-)
*good. what else*
SILLY
<bitch, you're not even fucking funny. certainly not funnier than anyone here>
(I feel silly)
<yea. you should stop>
*that's ok. what else is like silly*
(I don't know?)
*silly is good silly is...*
(playful?)
*write it down*
PLAYFUL
(fuck why am I scared)
<because you know you don't deserve to be here>
(but they invited me)
*they did*
(so I want to be...)
BRAVE
<barf. I’m actually going to throw/ up>
*keep going*
FREE FROM THE TEDIUM OF EVERYDAY LIFE
<what the->
(shhh)
*yes, that's it*
AN ARTIST
*yes*
AN ACTOR*
*you are*
A WRITER
"Time.”
Smiles exchanged between compatriots as they re-emerge from the pits of their own minds.
“Sharing isn’t required but definitely is encouraged"
(shit.)
<told you>
*just GO*
I’ll go!
<O God>
Today I’d like to be:
A Gamer
Inside of a Game
The Bird in the book I was reading
Silly
Playful
Free from the tedium of everyday life
Brave
An Artist
An Actor
A Writer
<see I told you. They hated/it>
A couple of smiles and head nods.
“What book were you reading?”
Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow?
More nods of understanding.
“That book… what a perfect book to be reading while you’re here”
I finished it this morning and was thinking the very same thing!
They continue
Two hours later
session adjourned
No sign of the ferret
Praying it broke free
And weren’t those cement walls taller before?